This week instead of sharing a thought with you, I decided to share one of my personal prayer journal entries. I started attending a women's Bible study last Thursday. Discerning the Voice of God is the name of the study. I have been overwhelmed this week with school starting, not to mention the hundred of other things starting this week.
Here is my entry on Friday, August 22, 2008
The scripture for this day was Habakkuk 1:12-13
Dear Lord - my Father,
Daily life comes and goes, my anxiety runs through my veins like a broken dam floods through a city. My earthly life will fade and my anxiety will come and go, the anxiety will consume me if I turn to it instead of you. You will always be there for me, now and in the thereafter. You have already given me eternal life. You are Holy and Pure. When I trust in You my ways will become pure and blameless.
You, God, are my ROCK. My solid stay. The unmovable portion of my life. You are in control and I am not. You are in control of our finances, my marriage, my future service in ministry, my middle daughter's disabilities with cerebral palsy, my youngest daughter's gifts and talents, my oldest daughter's college education and her life in ministry. You are in control of my husband's career. You are the author of life.
Lord, you can't stand evil, please remove my evil thoughts and give me the strength to choose the right things, and for me not to choose the easiest things. You are just. My feelings and emotions are not always lined up with Your ways; however, You are working to make great and unmeasurable things happen for me here on earth as well as in heaven. When daily life seems to be the bleakest I will turn to you and trust you. I will rest on my ROCK, my solid place. You will reveal Your plan when you are ready and I as your servant will wait and honor and praise your name.
You are here, always in my midst, waiting for me to come to you. I can picture you like a friend standing outside my door ringing the doorbell. You can hear me inside, shuffling around. You can peak through the door and see my shadow walking through the entry way. I pass right by the door. I am busy. I am doing laundry, answering my cell phone, emailing, watching TV, making lunches, doing dishes, preparing dinner and just one household chore after another. Why do I treat you like you are not there? Why do ignore the doorbell? I thank you that you don't turn away and never come to see me again. I thank you that you love me and you are always standing there waiting for me to answer the door. I pray you keep ringing the doorbell and never stop. It hurts my soul to think I have left you outside, not included you, not made you feel welcome in my home. I imagine you standing outside, knowing I'm home and no one comes to the door. I know I hurt you when I run to other things for comfort or try to fix things myself. I am sorry, I pray you can forgive me.
In Jesus Precious Name
AMEN
Monday, August 25, 2008
Monday, August 18, 2008
First Day of School Blues
How has everyone's week been? Here in Florida we are getting ready for school to start Monday! My family and I attended a kindergarten open house last night and a high school open house and on Monday we attend a pre-school open house. There's nothing like being in two different stages of life at once or needing to be in two different places at one time. I had so many emotions and feelings going on last night.
For many parents starting a new school year is a relief on that first day of school. No more keeping the kids entertained 24/7 or listening to them being annoyed with each other. Some parents are sad; their baby is starting kindergarten or even college. Some parents are anxious and worried.
Every year for the first day of school, I cry. I have relief, sadness, anxiety and worry all at the same time. I always have that movie going through my head of the past year. Then asking myself - Did I do everything each daughter needed me to do as a mother to prepare her for this new year of social, academic, physical, emotional and spiritual year of life? I used to go home, cry and be sort of sad all day after dropping off my oldest daughter. I never have let my girls see me cry on that day, I want them to have a happy first day. My oldest daughter knows about the "first day of school blues" for me and she smiles when I tell her the past years stories. She likes knowing I think of her and miss her.
Now after the drop off I've started a new tradition of going for coffee with friends to ease my "First Day of School Blues." This year, I have no one to go to coffee with. We have started a new school and live in a new house in a new town. I must make a plan of what to do my first free day. It's been five years since I have had three hours daily alone with myself. I must admit, I am looking forward to it, but also sad to see my girls enter a stage where they are no longer babies. Because of my teenage daughter, I do have the advantage of knowing that I will love each stage of their lives. She has been such an adventure, now I can look forward to two more daughters doing that adventure at the same time (that's a blog for a whole other week).
As I wanted to go with my girls, all three of them, on their first day of school I started thinking of God as our Father and how He must relate to us in our firsts. He is so unlike me. I have to stay home and wait on the girls to come home and tell me about their day. God is everywhere at the same time. He has unlimited power and authority. He has complete and ultimate knowledge, wisdom and awareness of all things. I am so glad that I don't have that responsibility. I like knowing that God has all the answers, and that He is the one that can tell my girls great and unsearchable things that I don't know. I don't always react that way, I don't always think God has them, yet I should.
So, this year I am going to pray with each one of my daughters privately to send them on their way. We are going to pray the armor of God over them and ask God to bless each one of them this whole year. We are going to pray for their principles, teachers, lunch room ladies and their classmates on a regular basis this year. God is good and He will watch my girls and they will be who they are and I will love them, protect them and continue to teach them that God has a special plan for each one of them.
Hang in there moms, we have been blessed!
Sandra
For many parents starting a new school year is a relief on that first day of school. No more keeping the kids entertained 24/7 or listening to them being annoyed with each other. Some parents are sad; their baby is starting kindergarten or even college. Some parents are anxious and worried.
Every year for the first day of school, I cry. I have relief, sadness, anxiety and worry all at the same time. I always have that movie going through my head of the past year. Then asking myself - Did I do everything each daughter needed me to do as a mother to prepare her for this new year of social, academic, physical, emotional and spiritual year of life? I used to go home, cry and be sort of sad all day after dropping off my oldest daughter. I never have let my girls see me cry on that day, I want them to have a happy first day. My oldest daughter knows about the "first day of school blues" for me and she smiles when I tell her the past years stories. She likes knowing I think of her and miss her.
Now after the drop off I've started a new tradition of going for coffee with friends to ease my "First Day of School Blues." This year, I have no one to go to coffee with. We have started a new school and live in a new house in a new town. I must make a plan of what to do my first free day. It's been five years since I have had three hours daily alone with myself. I must admit, I am looking forward to it, but also sad to see my girls enter a stage where they are no longer babies. Because of my teenage daughter, I do have the advantage of knowing that I will love each stage of their lives. She has been such an adventure, now I can look forward to two more daughters doing that adventure at the same time (that's a blog for a whole other week).
As I wanted to go with my girls, all three of them, on their first day of school I started thinking of God as our Father and how He must relate to us in our firsts. He is so unlike me. I have to stay home and wait on the girls to come home and tell me about their day. God is everywhere at the same time. He has unlimited power and authority. He has complete and ultimate knowledge, wisdom and awareness of all things. I am so glad that I don't have that responsibility. I like knowing that God has all the answers, and that He is the one that can tell my girls great and unsearchable things that I don't know. I don't always react that way, I don't always think God has them, yet I should.
So, this year I am going to pray with each one of my daughters privately to send them on their way. We are going to pray the armor of God over them and ask God to bless each one of them this whole year. We are going to pray for their principles, teachers, lunch room ladies and their classmates on a regular basis this year. God is good and He will watch my girls and they will be who they are and I will love them, protect them and continue to teach them that God has a special plan for each one of them.
Hang in there moms, we have been blessed!
Sandra
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