A Prayer from my Personal Prayer Journal

This week instead of sharing a thought with you, I decided to share one of my personal prayer journal entries. I started attending a women's Bible study last Thursday. Discerning the Voice of God is the name of the study. I have been overwhelmed this week with school starting, not to mention the hundred of other things starting this week.

Here is my entry on Friday, August 22, 2008
The scripture for this day was Habakkuk 1:12-13

Dear Lord - my Father,
Daily life comes and goes, my anxiety runs through my veins like a broken dam floods through a city. My earthly life will fade and my anxiety will come and go, the anxiety will consume me if I turn to it instead of you. You will always be there for me, now and in the thereafter. You have already given me eternal life. You are Holy and Pure. When I trust in You my ways will become pure and blameless.

You, God, are my ROCK. My solid stay. The unmovable portion of my life. You are in control and I am not. You are in control of our finances, my marriage, my future service in ministry, my middle daughter's disabilities with cerebral palsy, my youngest daughter's gifts and talents, my oldest daughter's college education and her life in ministry. You are in control of my husband's career. You are the author of life.

Lord, you can't stand evil, please remove my evil thoughts and give me the strength to choose the right things, and for me not to choose the easiest things. You are just. My feelings and emotions are not always lined up with Your ways; however, You are working to make great and unmeasurable things happen for me here on earth as well as in heaven. When daily life seems to be the bleakest I will turn to you and trust you. I will rest on my ROCK, my solid place. You will reveal Your plan when you are ready and I as your servant will wait and honor and praise your name.

You are here, always in my midst, waiting for me to come to you. I can picture you like a friend standing outside my door ringing the doorbell. You can hear me inside, shuffling around. You can peak through the door and see my shadow walking through the entry way. I pass right by the door. I am busy. I am doing laundry, answering my cell phone, emailing, watching TV, making lunches, doing dishes, preparing dinner and just one household chore after another. Why do I treat you like you are not there? Why do ignore the doorbell? I thank you that you don't turn away and never come to see me again. I thank you that you love me and you are always standing there waiting for me to answer the door. I pray you keep ringing the doorbell and never stop. It hurts my soul to think I have left you outside, not included you, not made you feel welcome in my home. I imagine you standing outside, knowing I'm home and no one comes to the door. I know I hurt you when I run to other things for comfort or try to fix things myself. I am sorry, I pray you can forgive me.

In Jesus Precious Name
AMEN