Providing for Family - GOD's TRUTH

I am in an anxious place this morning. Dealing with a loved one who has an addiction is never easy. I know it is not my responsibility to save this person, but it is my responsibility to provide for this person. According to God's Word. Now, the definition of "provide" is what is unclear for me today. My definition and this person's definition are defined totally different. So, I want God's definition.

I believe we each make decisions every moment of the day. Even in not making a decision we are making a decision. So, instead of calling my friends or even my husband I am going to search God's Word and seek what His TRUTH is about the matter. I believe God is going to define "provide" in this context for me today.

According to 1 Timothy 5:4-8 I do have a responsibility to this family member. It is not my heart intent to embarrass or to bring shame to this person. I don't feel I am suppose to share this person's name - hopefully I can articulate what God wants without revealing who this person is.

Verse 8, says that "If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever."

Now, with that said - previously I would have avoided the issues with this person, disconnected myself and shoved it in my mental closet. Not today - in an effort not to deal with this issue I am sharing with you for two reasons. (1) To keep my mental closet clean (by discovering what God wants from me in this situation), and (2) that God could somehow use this blog to encourage you.

So, I am to provide for this person.

Here are a few things that I can not provide:

1. correct decisions
2. strength to overcome the addiction
3. authority in this person's life
4. a healthy mental thought process
5. money or means to support this habit
6. this person with reality

Only Jesus Christ is the Savior, not me. So, the above things are the things I will pray for this person.

Here is what I can provide this person with:

1. Love, a genuine concern and care to not harm or control them
2. Prayers
3. Speak the TRUTH in a loving manner
   
4. Encouragement to admit the addiction and to get professional help
5. BOUNDARIES, to make clear what consequences this addiction will have on our relationship

Now, after all that I am not going to mail this nice, informative letter I had written to this person's doctor to educate the doctor of this person's addiction and abuse of prescription medication. That's how I wanted to deal with it - mail the letter to the doctor and not speak to the addict and then my hands would be washed of it. That way, I could take no responsibility. After all I am not the addict. By sending the letter, I would have done a noble and responsible thing, yet been able to shift blame on the doctor if this person continued to abuse.

Instead, I am going to communicate directly with this person in my life. I am going to let them know how I genuinely love them, that I pray for them. Remind this person how God has a specific plan for their life - they are special. I will encourage professional help and refresh the boundaries, that were clearly established previously with them, of their actions. When the addiction happens the boundaries tighten, I see efforts of trying and seeking help then those boundaries are slightly loosened with the knowledge that they are adjusted based on the addicts abuse.

So, my definition of "provide" for this person seems to be:
To love them, pray for them, encourage professional help, speak only TRUTH and to not totally remove myself from them completely, but to set and keep godly boundaries.

Now, I have to call and write a letter to this person. The phone calls never go well, if they are coherent enough to talk, so I will also write a loving, but truthful letter. I will include the letter I was going to send to their doctor and let God lead from there.

I will know after taking these steps that I have done all that God calls of me, not the addict.

I am not the Savior! Only the Lord Jesus Christ saves!
Thank goodness!
Sandra