I Love You!

November 12, 2008


Dear Sweet Girls,

Another week already gone by. Our family has had a virus all week. Kind of like a cold but much worse. My husband and middle daughter are non-germ people {germ-a-phoebes}. If someone in the house is sick, they avoid us like we have the plague. I am a hugger and kisser so, when I'm sick I want to be hugged and kissed. My other two daughters who are hugger and kissers too are the ones that were sick with me this week. My husband and middle daughter are not sick at all.

Funny how we are all different in the way we view things. I feel neglected and they feel like they are being wise avoiding sickness. Which statement is true? Well, it depends on which one of us you ask. Here are two basic truths about our little plight this week. (1) When you are sick you want to be cared for and loved (my love language happens to be physical touch). (2) If you get close to someone who is sick, chances are you will get sick.

I would recommend reading The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. It’s an excellent book. I will share the love languages with you today and give you a slight overview; but, the book is excellent and goes into great detail. The way you receive love is generally the way you show love. So if someone speaks a different love language then it’s like you are speaking a foreign language to them. The goal is to speak the language that makes the other person feel loved. Now, when practicality is involved, be sensible. Knowing I didn’t get hugs and kisses – was quite practical and I reasoned with myself and understood. Be sensible. Don’t focus on what you get. Focus on what you can give.

Here are the five love languages:

~ Words of Affirmation This is when you say how nice your spouse looks, or how great the dinner tasted. These words will also build your mate's self image and confidence.

~ Quality Time Some spouses believe that being together, doing things together and focusing in on one another is the best way to show love. If this is your partner's love language, turn off the TV now and then and give one another some undivided attention.

~ Gifts It is universal in human cultures to give gifts. They don't have to be expensive to send a powerful message of love. Spouses who forget a birthday or anniversary or who never give gifts to someone who truly enjoys gift giving will find themselves with a spouse who feels neglected and unloved.

~ Acts of Service Discovering how you can best do something for your spouse will require time and creativity. These acts of service like vacuuming, hanging a bird feeder, planting a garden, etc., need to be done with joy in order to be perceived as a gift of love.

~ Physical Touch Sometimes just stroking your spouse's back, holding hands, or a peck on the check will fulfill this need for love.


Check out Gary Chapman's website http://www.fivelovelanguages.com/

What's This

My husband is so funny. I have been sick and so have two of my daughters. I managed to make a pot of chili and after he ate his dinner, in the bottom of the bowl was something he didn't recognize.

I'm in the bed with my head covered, moaning and groaning to feel better and he walks in and says, "What are finger nails doing in the chili?"

I just started laughing and thinking - did I put finger nails in the chili? He brought it over to me and showed me and it was two little shavings from a wooden spoon I had used to stir the chili. I told him I thought the finger nails would add some good flavor. Yuck!

So, now of course we are having a great time saying - Does this have finger nails in it? Better check your lunch mom makes.... I am laughing just typing this. If you knew my husband you would giggle too!

Too Funny!

Being MAD at GOD

What a daring title. Being MAD at God. I was just that last night. After my husband and I discussed our finances we came to the conclusion that I should be looking more eagerly for a job. We do need the extra income. Couldn't everyone right now?

Normally, I would just work my anger out on my own and then take things to God after I wrestled with myself until I came to my senses. Not this time, I took my mad, angry self straight to God. I just started a new journal - so, the first page was my wonderful prayer of Being MAD at GOD.

I started out the prayer - with my flippant attitude about the situation I was in. After every sentence I would say, "I am so mad at you.". Then I decided that I would look up the names of God and then go back to Him after that and remind Him of His promises, because He surely wasn't keeping up His end of the deal.

I looked up the following names:
Jehovah Jireh ~ Provider
Jehovah Ezer ~ Helper
Jehovah Rapha ~ Healer
Elohim ~ My Creator
El Roi ~ God who sees

After all that, my heart starting seeing the truth.

Then I wrote the following:

My heart beats harder than ever before, my anger swells inside me. I see no relief from my sorrows. I mourn for what is not, what is no longer and what will not be. Tears swell up in my eyes and run down my face. The sorrow is more than I can stand. I stop. I invite my Creator,my Provider, my Healer in and get down on my knees and surrender all. I give over my anger, my sorrow, my fear, my mourning, my tears. I trust in the Creator, the one who made me. I trust He will turn my sorrows into joy, my tears into laughter. My anger into understanding, my madness into being today's lessons. My mourning into rejoicing.

You alone are God, my Creator. I am sorry that I had the lapse of unbelief. Who am I to question what the future holds? Who am I to question who you are and what rights you have?

As I started looking up scripture to plead my case against what God has allowed to happen, I found God has all rights and all love. I am here to worship and glorify Him. I am filled with the one who loves me!

Thanks for letting me share ~
Sandra

After Halloween

We made it through Halloween! The world didn't end because we didn't Trick or Treat. We went out to dinner with Jim's parents and the girls wore their costumes in the restaurant and within 5 minutes the costumes were itching and they had to take them off. Then we drove over to Target and purchased each girl a bag of candy. They were happy as little princesses. All three of them! I had no conviction and we were all good with it.

In my five year old daughter's class they were asked to vote on "Do you like Halloween?" I have never said to any of my girls that we are not to like Halloween - in a effort for them not to judge others in any way. But when I went to help in the class on Halloween Day. My middle daughter was the only one who voted "NO". This is our daughter with Cerebral Palsy. So, when we got home I asked her why she voted no. She said she doesn't like the scary costumes and that's why she doesn't like Halloween. I had no idea that was her thoughts - I was proud of her for not going with the crowd and standing alone.

Remember, I am not saying if you participate in Halloween you are bad ~ I am only going on my own convictions!!!!

Love,
Sandra

Good Morning

Hello Ladies,

I am so stressed this morning with my four year old, I could scream. She is not obeying the first time and on Monday mornings (just this one morning a week - while she is home) I update the ministry website and the BLOG.

This morning she is being extremely difficult. She wants all my attention. She doesn't like playing alone anyway - I explained this is like my work, so one morning a week I will be on the computer and not at her beck and call. She is driving me crazy! She wants this, she wants that. She had the nerve to tell me this morning that I never take care of her. I almost flipped.

We have had company this weekend and usually when my girls are starved for my attention it is because they haven't had my attention in a few days. It takes them about three or four days of no alone mommy time to get this way.

So, I told her that in five minutes I would give her 10 minutes of total mommy time. She wanted to go outside on our lani and sit on the love chair (that's what my girls call our chase lounge). So we went and I hugged her and kissed her and let her talk (non-stop) for 15 minutes. She is off playing in a room with the door closed, singing and happy as can be.

I am in here typing the BLOG for this week. The moral of my story is two things...

1. Our children must fit into our lives, not us into theirs
   
2. We must make sure we are meeting our commitments as parents before work

So, by filling my four year old with hugs and kisses for 15 minutes, I can help her to fit into my morning schedule of commitments....

PRAISE God for loving us in our unlovable moments. Me and my four year old!!!!

Sandra