Being MAD at GOD

What a daring title. Being MAD at God. I was just that last night. After my husband and I discussed our finances we came to the conclusion that I should be looking more eagerly for a job. We do need the extra income. Couldn't everyone right now?

Normally, I would just work my anger out on my own and then take things to God after I wrestled with myself until I came to my senses. Not this time, I took my mad, angry self straight to God. I just started a new journal - so, the first page was my wonderful prayer of Being MAD at GOD.

I started out the prayer - with my flippant attitude about the situation I was in. After every sentence I would say, "I am so mad at you.". Then I decided that I would look up the names of God and then go back to Him after that and remind Him of His promises, because He surely wasn't keeping up His end of the deal.

I looked up the following names:
Jehovah Jireh ~ Provider
Jehovah Ezer ~ Helper
Jehovah Rapha ~ Healer
Elohim ~ My Creator
El Roi ~ God who sees

After all that, my heart starting seeing the truth.

Then I wrote the following:

My heart beats harder than ever before, my anger swells inside me. I see no relief from my sorrows. I mourn for what is not, what is no longer and what will not be. Tears swell up in my eyes and run down my face. The sorrow is more than I can stand. I stop. I invite my Creator,my Provider, my Healer in and get down on my knees and surrender all. I give over my anger, my sorrow, my fear, my mourning, my tears. I trust in the Creator, the one who made me. I trust He will turn my sorrows into joy, my tears into laughter. My anger into understanding, my madness into being today's lessons. My mourning into rejoicing.

You alone are God, my Creator. I am sorry that I had the lapse of unbelief. Who am I to question what the future holds? Who am I to question who you are and what rights you have?

As I started looking up scripture to plead my case against what God has allowed to happen, I found God has all rights and all love. I am here to worship and glorify Him. I am filled with the one who loves me!

Thanks for letting me share ~
Sandra