Discernment Comes From God Alone

John 6:35-70

Have you ever said, “I wish God would just drop down a big lit neon sign saying, “Do this… Pick this… Don’t do that…?” It seems so simple to us, if God would speak directly to us through a visible, audible and tangible worldly way we would respond with instant favor. However, God did do that with Jesus and those eye witnesses still did not believe. After reading verse 50-59 I can see where they lost their understanding and why they started to grumble and argue. The words Jesus used made no sense to them because they had not received insight and discernment from God to fully understand what Jesus was saying. They were trying so hard to figure out the spiritual meaning from a worldly view they became frustrated. That frustration and the lack of understanding lead to grumbling, complaining, arguing, and an offensive attitude.

God’s Word promises that anyone who asks for wisdom shall receive it {James 1:5}. They forgot to humble themselves to gain wisdom through understanding. We try so hard to figure out the why’s of life, the checklist or instant fix to resolve our complications. We forget to do the one thing God promises: to humble ourselves and asked God for wisdom {Proverbs 9:10; Proverbs 1:2; Proverbs 2:2}. If we are to gain wisdom through understanding we must be actively seeking God through His Word. It is that big lit neon sign sent to us along with the Holy Spirit living inside us to give us counsel.

If I could scream one thing to the people I meet, it would be to read God’s Word daily and to ask God to give them insight wisdom and understanding of what they read. God’s Word is sharper than a double edged sword {Hebrews 4:12}, why on earth wouldn’t you pick up that weapon to be victorious. Probably because it seems too easy, yet we don't want to do the effort.

Most people would say time is my big issue. What if you resolved to carve out time and then God took away the complications that were preventing you from having extra time. What if He started using your time for Him and you lived in peace and rest while still doing all the things that time requires of you. Stop arguing, complaining, grumbling and being offended and start seeking God’s Word for answers. What a concept.

Challenge:
1. What are you grumbling about?
2. What are you complaining about?
3. What are you frustrated with?
4. What are you offended by? Why are you offended?
5. Do you desire that lit neon sign? Did you know you already have it?
6. How long has it been since you have specifically asked God for wisdom
with the things that cause you to grumble, to complain, the things that
cause you frustration and the things that offend you?
7. How long has it been since you voiced those things to others? My guess is you instantly talk to others about these things and yet hardly ever sit and take them directly to God or seek His Word for guidance.
8. Do you think you are too busy to read God’s Word?

Acceptance a Key Need

John 5:44
How can you believe if you accept praise from one another, yet you make no effort to obtain the praise that comes from the only God.

Recently through an exercise at church we were asked to discover three key needs that both we and our spouse have in our relationship. I became acutely aware that I have an extreme need for acceptance from my husband. My desire runs deep to have him receive me with open arms and to do it on purpose with a loving and caring response for who I am. In general, that sounds like a resonable desire. But it has become an expectation, and when that expectation is not met, that expectation becomes a bitter resentment toward my husband, which leads me to not fulfill his key needs.

Having the desire for my husband to accept me is a good thing, but I had placed that desire as a demanded expectation. Which turns my heart from the desires of God's definition of marital acceptance to my personal selfish defintion. With the exercise we had to discuss each one of our key needs. Through our discussion we discovered that we weren't focusing on how to positively correct, we were focusing on specific negative instances from the past. I was focusing on times when I did not get what I wanted and this was causing me to become angry, to raise my voice, to speak with a condacending tone and I felt attacked.

We stopped ourselves and decided to focus on what each one of our personal definitions were to our key needs and what positive, specific actions and words each one of us could do to support the other in that need. My definition to the approach and timing of acceptance and my hubsand's definition to the approach and timing of acceptance were totally different. I received differently than what he had been giving. He was giving, but he was getting absolutely no credit for his efforts. This had to be exasperating for him. I didn't see it because I had set acceptance up in a specific way and that was the only way I was going to receive it. We all do that, we define things for ourselves and we have dreams and desires that we place upon our spouses that truly only God can meet. Yet, we continually battle for what we think is right and what we want.

Our final conclusion was that we needed to discover each other's definitions for the key needs first and then ask God, "What can I do in action and word to express this need to my spouse?". We were no longer going to focus on what each one of was was not bringing to the relationship, but we were going to focus on how we were going to really try to be the representation of God's love to each other through our marriage covenant.

What a concept. Being unselfish and putting my husband first by asking God to show me how to love him. Once that revelation hit me, my own selfish desires became less important and I knew God would give me more than I have ever dreamed, desired or expected in our marriage.

Challenge:

1. Do you receive willing praise from others as more important than praise from God?
2. Do you go to the only true God for answers or do you look to others for approval and never match the issue at hand with God's Word?
3. Do you make a vigorous effort to obtain God's truth through His Word?
4. Do you have a habit of reading His Word and Praying?
5. How can you expect to collectively put God's definition into effect if you are not searching them out by going to him directly?
6. Do you wait to read a devotional or encouraging word from another human or do you go get one straight from the one and only true God?
7. Are you willing to love your spouse the way God intended?
8. Are you willing to be the expression of God's love to your spouse here on earth?
9. Do you have a personal realtionship with Jesus Christ?

This exercise came from a book entitiled The Great Commandment Principle by David Ferguson. For more explanation and an endorsement of the exercise in this book you may watch Greg and Tamara Dumas online presenting a message on marriage to the congregation of The Crossing Church based on the key needs mentioned in this book. Please go to www.crossingonline.org and watch the archived service for July 31, 2010 weekend.